Saturday, September 27, 2008

Mutura is still the Sh......

Well well folks last weekend was a blast and I literary had track marks to prove it.

As usual, I had gone to visit the folks in down country formerly know as Ocha, they have fairly improved in the last couple of years, now the power doesn't go off everytime it rains, the lights just flicker now and then. Anything connected to the power outlets is at risk to resets when this happens. I've always wondered why their clock on the microwave is always flashing. Now when I look back, they are just tired of setting it all the time when it rains. I wonder if this explains the recent tv lamp burning...

Anyway we had a good time over the weekend, we got a refresher course on 'kumiria maraa' by non other than the pro himself. It took him a tiny fraction of the time it normally takes us amateurs to do it. It had been about 11 years since we sat down together with a mburi and did this. As always my sis outdid herself in the kitchen, kudos sis.

Come Sunday, departure time was approaching, and I did what I had never ever done before not even ever thought about,... Yes, I took a nap before hitting the road - Mistake #01. I woke up feeling all tingly all over (not thaat kind of tingly... the other one), with a massive headache/migrane. I loaded up on coffee, I even had a thermos full of the cafeine. I washed down some ibuprofin with the coffee and within a flash, the headache was gone. I remember thinking I gotta get me some of that stuff my sis has in her med cabinate.

Mistake #02 was in NJ turn pike last exit before entering NY. I had the oportunity to stop but justified that since my guages told me that I still have some 150 miles before empty, I rationalized that it's better to stop on the other side of the GW bridge. I was stuck in traffic at the tolls and the head was still pounding, so I called Doc sis and after talking to her, I realized I had been carrying along Mistake #0 all along. I had the coffee cup with me but it was still full. Mind you this is a guy who drinks coffee like clockwork and was suffering from withdrawals since he hasn't drank any since he left Philly. - thats a sign of impending sickness. And guess what, after a couple of gulps, the headache was gone, like magic. add 1 + 1, it wasnt the pills.

At this point, I made a quick pit stop in NY and tried to cut back the time I lost in the traffic. And I did manage to eat away a good 45 min, for those of you with calcutator brains do the math coz I aint spilling on how fast I was going. Anyway, when I got to the 40's in Connecticut, I started feeling woozy and had to stop.

Needless to say, three hours later, I felt better and actually found out that the bathrooms on I 95 are cleaned at around midnight on Monday, you can even smell the pinesol used. I played Hop - Skip - and Jump all the way home. For those of you who are not familiar with this game, think of a long road trip whill having the runs. Hop - Stopping at every rest area, Skip - every other rest stop, Jump - driving till nature calls and hope that there's an exit nearby or else its the bushes. Lucky for me, and thank you to RI & MA dunkin Donuts shops I did more Jumps than Hops.

I was still planning on going to work but 7 rolled in quicker than I had anticipated, and when I called my boss, I learned that he was in DC, so I had to drag my tush to work. I ended up leaving early, and taking Tuesday off. I found out that my Bro and my Uncle had also fallen victim to the Mutura and were suffering the same fate. The Docs orders were a lot of fluids and since she didn't exclude cafeine, I've been loading up on coffee and the other liquids that she recomended.

I'm currently driving a V8 4 by 4 but its better than the monster truck 18 wheeler I've been driving on and off since Sunday.

All said and done, no regrets... I'll still eat mutura's and ndundiru's. I'm not even gonna be prepared or ready with any remedies at hand. I've pieced the cause and effect for this whole episode. The only difference between this weekend and the other Mutura weekends is that I missed my daily ration for cafeine for two days, so my system was out of whack to begin with.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Is Genetics Underated?

It's time for my next two cents before the powers that be decide to unplug me... its way past my bi-yearly rant.... Before I get into it, just a couple of updates...

Stella is up and running but since her last surgery, her Immune system is somehow shutting down, last I heard, the Board of Trustees are suggesting replacing Stella but V^6 still has lots of hope and aint giving up. I'm with him on this coz we've been meeting at the hospital AKA Riverwalk Treatment Center (RTC) very frequently of late. my Babes Urallette (Stella's younger sis), has had quit a summer and the fall allergies are kicking in. (I just found out she was born in Curitiba, Brazil - her father is Un-Disputatiously German but still tracking down the Mum - Origins uknown so far) I'm trying to trace her family's medical history coz if it's genetic, withing two years, Babes will be going thru' the same tribulations as Stella. Needless to say, their immediate cousins Jetta Black and her marroon sister have been through the wringer a couple of times with very frequent Dr visits, check ups... etc... etc...

Started in early May, the popo's and the RMV put her out of commission for 2 months coz her ID had just expired and her HMO provider changed the rules and wanted her Insurance paid in full upfront. Although the Plan is called Comprehensive, It only covers the exterior and others. It doesn't cover any interior organs or bodily mechanisms. For these, the plan is called Warranty. Babes Warranty expired way's back but thanks to RTC and Stella, I have an unlimited supply of info and thingamajigs to help Babes get through it.

Anyway, I managed to get a couple of sponsors, and since V^6 has many connections, he hooked me up... Thanxs Bro...

Babes current ailment is related to her cooling system. She overheated a while back, I was stuck in typical Boston tunnel traffic for 3 hours for absolutely nothing and one of her coolant fan fuses blew up. Now her AC just blows hot air - needs a new compressor, and being the optimist, I figured that since winter is around the corner, I dont have to fix it now. Little did I know that a week later my sis and I would be stuck in another 84 degrees tunnel this time in NY city (Did I mention I really really hate NY roads and traffic). My poor sis couldn't stand the heat and when you open the windows, the Chinatown express is right there fuming in your face. Sorry sis about that, I know I'll be making up for that for a while to come.

Anyway, she's currently doing fine minus the AC thingamajig and has been good to me so far.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

V Dubb A.K.A Stella Listed in stable but Critical Condition...

I'm afraid to announce that Stella was admitted late last night at Riverwalk garage after her plastic implants gave way under too much pressure. She had just been released with a clean bill of health earlier after complaining of being ignored by the Surgeon General for at least two months.

I had the privilege of an exclusive interview with 'Stella' en route on the back of a Triple A ambulance. (AAA). By the way, she's holding me responsible for last nights mishap... and I have edited out the expletives used during this brief conversation before she lapsed into a comma.

"It all started prior to Christmas when he (V^6) promised me some Nitrous implants, which he claimed would increase my versatility or so he claimed. Weell... he hooked me up with what he called the NOS (N2O) kit, to be honest, all I saw was a bunch of jets, lines, nozzles, fitting guages, adapters, a bottle valve, a solenoid and a 10 pound bottle, like I need extra pounds to lug around. why did you have to fill the bottle up today....... " (the rest was incoherent blubber with cursing in between)

I'll fill in the blanks and in my defense, I came down to PA to visit folks and chill with my nephews for a couple of days. Earlier in the morning, V^6 asked me to fill up the N2O bottle during my mbururu's. My understanding was Stella hadn't received any luving since Christmas and was bitching about it, claiming "I feel the need for speed."

Call me superstitious but if you ask me, there's a reason why the 29th of Feb only happens in 4 years. Anyway, after fixing a couple of leaks, we took her for a test ride on our way to get some cheese steaks for dinner. V^6 may have a different recollection, but I had a better vantage point from the passenger seat despite it all happening so quick. We had just entered the highway and he punched the switch once and you could feel the kick for a sec or so, then the check engine light came on. After a little down-shift and up-shift, she shut off completely but the car was still cruising down the road. Solution: shift to third gear and pop the clutch.

Well, it worked like a charm and Stella roared back to life, but with a vengeance. It is widely known that Hell hath No Fury like a woman scorned. I was there and back. All I saw was a brief bright blueish -reddish -yellowish -purplish -greenish -magentaish light (V^6 claims not to have seen it -he's still in denial...) and heard and felt a loud BIG BANG!! and I can sincerely swear that her front wheels leaped a good 5 inches off the road, but I could be wrong. Without irrefutable evidence, I cannot ascertain whether my heart stopped or skipped a few beats.

She managed to crawl to the side of the road, puffing and huffing, spitting out pieces of plastic and probably rubber too. From initial diagnoses, the intake manifold gave way and split into several dozen pieces. After a try or two, she kept coughing and backfiring too much, making clacking sounds somewhere below, we finally decided it was better to tow her home, and besides, it was cold out and snow was threatening to fall on us. The ambulance was dispatched.

Needles to say, the Surgeon General says Stella is currently stable on Life-support and in dire need for an organ transplant. She is not seeing any visitors or well wishers at the moment. In my opinion as her Health care proxy and votes from friends and family, without a matching donor, I might ask the Doctor to write up a DNR order on her.